Champagne and cheese bits...

The best (and safest) way to open a bottle of bubbly? Remove wire cage. Cover cork with a cloth and slowly turn bottle until it pops.

The most fun way?
Sabering 

Place the neck of a chilled bottle of champagne upside down into an ice bucket for a minimum of thirty minutes. Locate where the seam from the body of the bottle meets the cork.

Hold bottle at an approximate 20 degree angle, 

pointing away from you and any loved ones. Aim the back of your saber blade (heavy kitchen knife or sword) towards the cork.

Keeping knife flat, slide along this seam (the bottle's weakest point) with a smooth follow through. Do not hesitate. It doesn't take much force, but it takes absolute confidence.

The blade will strike the lip of the nearly frozen bottle and force the glass to separate the collar from the bottleneck. Cork will remain in its collar, as you essentially slice the top off and behead your bottle. Take delight in knowing your guests will not soon forget that you hosted the best dinner party they've ever attended.

Cheese tip: 

Canadian snowgoat cheese is a friend of champagne.
Pair with fresh strawberries, dried figs and fruit.

Meaningless fact #1 

Only sparkling wines produced in Champagne, France
may be rightly called champagne.

Meaningless fact #2 

There are 49,000,000,000 bubbles in the average
bottle of champagne. 

Bigger bubbles = bigger hangover.

Meaningless fact #3 

A typical champagne bottle provides six glasses.
A Nebuchandenezzar bottle will provide
twenty bottles of champagne. 

Pour with great care.

And to think you weren't going to learn 

a damn thing today.

Enjoy thirsty cavaliers

x